An issue touched on in Ruby this week was the idea of letting you former self go and becoming a new fit person. It struck a chord with me. No matter what size, if you've never been truly slim and healthy or you've been off the fit wagon a while, there is definitely an element of fear that comes with the change. It seems like a silly notion at first-why fear something that will make you feel so good and benefit your health and boost your self esteem? However, it's really easy to fear this change. Being overweight becomes such a strong part of one's identity (even if it's not for the better), and it is not easy to let it go. Who am I if I am not chubby? For me I think a big factor is that I sometimes use it as a crutch ie: Telling myself that I would have gotten roles if I were thinner, landed a commercial audition if I were thinner, my performance career as a whole would be in a better place if I were in better shape. While in some cases this may be a legitimate reason (part of the business IS based on look), but I realize that sometimes I hide behind it and give it more responsibility than it should have. I don't think it necessarily occurred to me to consider the identity aspect of it all. When the first leg of my get-fit journey is complete in a year, I will be a different person in some ways. It's exciting and scary at the same time, but mostly I can't wait to meet the new version me! I'm already feeling the transformation.
Tomorrow is a measurement day! Time to see where the three month mark has taken me!