Another day of packing up and carefully preparing ensued to get to my exciting call back yesterday. I gave it my all and am pleased to be one of just 15 called back after two days of auditions. Alas, I was released with a few other people after a couple of hours (it was a four hour call back) which 99.364% of the time means you are out. With last month's major big time show loss followed by two minor show losses, another disappointment earlier this month, and now this, I am just down. Ne'er was there a girl who has more passion for performance than I, but as Patty Smyth says, "Sometimes love just ain't enough."
Something very interesting happened though. I walked out of the place and went into auto-pilot old-self mode and asked myself what multitude of terrible things I would eat in anger and sadness. I couldn't come up with anything. When I got home I had a couple of cocktails, but really, I didn't have the desire to eat over my pain. BREAKTHROUGH! I'm trying to focus on that today.
This week my workouts are scheduled as follows:
Monday: Tabata Boxing and Cardio Barre Sculpt
Tuesday: Strength Boxing (Try kickboxing with weights-it ain't easy!)
Wednesday: off-pity party
Thursday: off-Attending a theatre benefit
Friday: Kwando Kickboxing
Monday at Tabata the instructor had 20% discount cards for Lucy Active Wear. She said she would give them to the people who gave it their all in class. I always give it my all but I tried to push harder (even doing full out push ups during warm ups instead of modified girl ones). Alas, no reward. I was bummed. I have chosen to believe that the incentive was there for people who don't work hard each time and needed extra motivation. Yes, that's it, but still my feelings were hurt after all of my months of hard work. I wouldn't have used it anyway. These would have still cost me over $60.
Well, that was nice and dreary, but hey, dreary patches are an honest part of the journey. I think I should start keeping a gratitude journal again so I can pull myself out of this slump and focus on good things...like the fact that I haven't had multiple surgeries on my eyeballs! Visit http://dishingfordana.com/
Thursday, May 26, 2011
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