Snack Attacks and Emotional Vomit

The past couple of days I have had to work extra hard to fight the Snack Monster. I just want to snack all of the time. I try to pull from my arsenal of coping methods: I lean on The Nine Rooms of Happiness to get to the root of what might be causing this and Women Food and God to try to identify any self sabotage that might be happening. I think it's a combo of actually being hungry (since over the last month I've jumped head first into vigorous exercise), being dehydrated, being frustrated by some geneology research I am doing and some emotions it is tapping into, and being a little bored. I don't do well when my life pauses. I have a couple of things on hold and/or not moving forward career wise and my bio clock is going nuts (but that must be put on hold as well). I am trying to enjoy this mundane time (because goodness knows things will get hectic again at some point), but I think I'm feeling a little empty and that is driving me to want to fill it up with food. I am fighting the good fight with lots of decaf green tea, water, healthy eats like apples and carrots and daikon and trying to breathe. It's a tough battle though, considering all I want to do now is find the doughiest most gigantic bagel of all time and eat it.

Are you fighting any snack wars on your turf?

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Weekend Yumminess

I know I sound like a broken record when I report over and over again about my seemingly unavoidable tendency to run myself into the ground. My lifestyle has been taking a toll on me more than ever lately and Saturday it reared it's ugly head full force. Mr. BB30 and I headed to a family event (a Christening for one of the cutest babies I have ever seen). I woke up with a head ache and thought, "Oh no, I must be overdoing it with caffeine and am having withdrawals." So, although I knew I needed to address this issue since caffeine dependency is definitely not healthy, I also knew I needed to make it through the day. So we stopped for caffeine. Nothing. Head still hurt. Not good. Riding in a car for for over an hour on bumpy roads. Super not good. Incense. Mega not good. After the ceremony at the luncheon, I found someone with ibuprofen, drank water and tried a little cranberry juice. Uber not good. I was instantly nauseous. My head was splitting. I was so warm. I couldn't focus. My neck ached. I tried some bites of salad. More nausea. My only choice was to make my way to the car and lie down. Mr. BB30 and my sister-in-law made their way to the car and we went to a store to get more headache medicine. Mr. BB30 found an amazing patch for migraines that we stuck to my forehead, and I slept all the way back to to city. How embarrassed am I? SO EMBARRASSED. We are so busy we don't get to make it to many family gatherings and then when we do, this happens. Ugh. Luckily I snoozed off most of the headache and was able to function for my show on Saturday night.

I realized that although I have still been eating relatively low cal for the most part, my diet of the fast go-to-foods cereal, tofu "egg" salad, sandwiches, hummus, and popcorn is not well balanced at all. My body was crying out for the vegetables and nutrients it is used to. It was crying out for rest. I wasn't giving it what it needed so it rebelled and took me out!

Saturday night I got some much needed sleep and Sunday my husband and I headed to The Chicago Diner where I got big beautiful salad and a side of scrambled tofu for protein. According to our nice server it was a bit larger than the standard Chicago Diner Garden Salad. I felt rewarded for my good choice. This salad was so good. I ate every last bite and felt so nourished. Look at this beauty!

The beets were so sweet and earthy. The greens were so fresh. Bliss.

We stopped by the produce store on the way home and I picked up some veggies to create a big pot of soup goodness for lunches the week.

I chopped up:
1 small sweet potato
1 medium zucchini
1/2 of a large purple onion
1 small parsnip
1 giant carrot
1 large red bell pepper
1 medium tomato
3 stalks of celery
7 large cloves of garlic

This carrot was as big as my dog. Please pardon his privates.

I sauteed my veggies.

For the broth I added 4 cups of vegetable boullion and seasoned with salt, pepper, dried thyme, cumin, garlic powder, and cajun seasoning for kick. Then I added in about 1/4 cup homemade tomato sauce dilluted in a cup of water.


Of course this recipe (if you can call it that) is nothing genius, but a great basic veggie soup . This batch made six substantial servings that I've already separated into individual containers. Each day I'll add something to it to make it a little different and bulk it up. Today I added soy crumbles and fresh basil and sage that I picked from my garden this morning. I may add cilantro and tofu one day, noodles the next, possibly a scoop of instant cous cous or black beans. This soup will give me lunch all week long and cost about $6 to make (and I still have a full red bell pepper, half an onion, and lots of celery left). Can't beat that!
 
Tonight after Bikram I sauteed up some veggies and spinach and kept riding the vitamin train! I feel better already! Now for some sleep!

Taking the Bull By the Horns

This week I have taken the bull by the horns and got myself back on track:

Sunday: Bikram
Monday: Bikram
Tuesday: Bikram
Wednesday: 3 mile walk
Thursday: 3 mile walk
BAM!

I've also made sure to stay aware of my calorie intake and have been evening cocktail-free all week.

In your face, scale!

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A Garden Tale

Once upon a Mid May Mr. BB30 and I took over the plot in our building's backyard. Mr. BB30 cleared out the weeds and left some perennial flowers (the ones with purple flowers on the right are actually chives).

Mr.BB30 is rockin' some seriously awesome sideburns for his current role. I LOVE THEM.

Earlier that day we went to Home Depot and picked up some tomatoes, squash, zuchinni, basil, and sage which we planted and fed some healthy mushroom compost.

Some people have a garden gnome. We have a garden ninja.

Last week we had out first "harvest" (aka our first tomato with color fell off the vine, and I saved it before the bunny family that lives under a nearby bush stole it!)

This guy was small, but quite delicious. I can't wait for more, and thanks to lots of nourishing rain in June and warm humid weather this month, there are many on their way! (I think we've counted over twenty!)

Aw.....a tomato family.

The squash and zucchini are growing so tall and blossoming away, but no veggies yet. The biggest issue has been the lack of bees to pollinate the flowers. So, in the mornings when the blossoms are open I rub my finger in all of their bellies and do a little pollination. Sounds a little weird, but I have to help them along until they get a little insect action. I am very impatient, because I hear that when squash and zucchini hit, they hit big. Bring on our veggie goodness!!! Now! Now! Now!

Holy Squashola!

C'mon little buds, make me some dinner!!

The basil is flourishing, and Mr. BB30 and I have been enjoying fresh basil in our dinners for a couple of weeks now. Ain't nothin' like fresh herbs to liven up stir fries, sautees, and pastas! I pick it all the time, take it upstairs, give it a rinse, a chiffonade, and into the pot it goes!

Woah! Basil Jungle!

Speaking of fresh herbs, our sage has also been growing well along with its neighbor-mint. Fresh sage has brought my tempeh to new levels and the mint is such a delight with peas and limey cocktails!

Herbtastic!

A couple of weeks after out initial plant, Mr. BB30 went and bought us a bell pepper plant. It's doing its best to catch up!

The little plant that could.

(Behind it is a nasturtium, an edible flower. We got the seeds for free at Chicago's Bitannical Gardens. It's working hard to grow too!)

I've really enjoyed caring for this garden, finding new little buds daily, and watching everything go from bare to WOW!

That's my little doggie's hiney on the far right. Tee hee!

Have you had a summer harvest yet?

Old Habits Die Hard or Llama Face

In the midst of being super stressed from being spread so thin with no end in sight, today I am strugling with turning to food for comfort. So I've put my lunch aside to pause and let it out in a healthy way instead of plugging up the frustration with food and not enjoying my meal. I have to laugh at myself and lighten up and give myself a break in times like this. The first thing that comes to my mind when I want to emotionally eat is the infamous Chris Farley Gap Girls sketch. Totally offensive. Totally hilarious.

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Yesterday I went to free lunch time guided meditation and of course had a great experience. Seriously throw out your preconceived notions about meditation if you haven't tried it. It's wonderful and healing and really helps recenter me in the middle of the day. I love the second Wednesday of the month for that. Anywho, the message that came through to me was a reminder to be good to myself. I had been doing so well with this, but just like with turning to food for comfort, beating yourself up is an easy habit to fall back into. Lately I have been putting way too much energy and concern into my face, my eyes in particular. We've just come out of a crazy winter and as the temperature is still warming up and officially becoming summer in my area, my "winter face" is steal healing. I am also a busy busy girl so I don't get an abundance of rest and I am looking pretty tired. My hereditary/allergy related dark under eye circles seem to be getting out of hand and I am noticing those first signs of wrinkles and bags I've never had before. We did our first weekend of shooting for the indie film I am doing, and I have been so worried about my skin and eyes and how they will look. Mind you, I know it is 1000 times worse in my head, but....back to the message. Long story short, we were told to envision a specific animal during the meditation, okay fine, a llama, and all I could focus on was its beautiful eyes and long eye lashes. I didn't care about dirt in it's fur or how it might have smelled, I didn't notice any of that. All I could see was its eyes. I have long eye lashes too. That is a nice feature about me and the tired eyes I have been ridiculing and being mean to myself about. FOCUS ON THE GOOD STUFF BB30. STOP LOOKING ONLY AT THE BAD. I wish I could put that story more eloquently, but you get my drift.

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My Holiday

‘Twas a successful holiday trip to the south food-wise. I was able to find good animal free things to eat on the two restaurant dining excursions I had. One was a lunch where I ate from a salad bar and left full of veggie goodness. One was a dinner where I got to choose the spot and thanks to some pre-trip internet research I found an Italian restaurant that good food for all, and a whole wheat pasta dish with lots of veggies sautéed in olive oil for me. I made sure there was no butter and had them separate the vegetables and pasta (so I’d make sure to eat most of my veggies first) and voila-a delish dish! For the second leg of the journey I cooked up a pot of Eggplant Chana Masala and Chocolate Peanut Cups courtesy of The Kind Diet, and I bought some kale, apples, and oranges at a grocery store, so I had plenty of clean delicious food for my belly. I actually lost a couple of pounds over Christmas. And we all know that my scale is quite opposed to budging, so this was great news! Even better news is that I really didn’t feel tempted or deprived sans a momentary slight pang I felt in choosing not to have queso dip. I quickly reminded myself of how I would feel if I ate it and knew the possible stomach ache wouldn’t be worth it! The feeling seriously just lasted a moment.

I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by The Conscious Cook cookbook, so my supportive husband got me a simpler cookbook for Christmas, The Urban Vegan by Denise Balcavage. I’ve only just started to go through it and it seems much less intimidating. Eventually I will dive into some of the more complicated time consuming dishes in The Conscious Cook, but since I am still new to this kind of eating, I need to slow down and learn some good basic go-to meals. I’m excited to test out some appetizer recipes this week when some friends will come over for a little pre-New Years Eve party toasting!

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I am looking forward to 2010 as a year of renewal and change and health. I’ll start my women's seminar, begin rehearsing for my next show, and embrace the four months I have left to reach my goal. There will be a lot of hard work involved mentally and physically as I unclog some mental blockages and dive into more intense exercise and toning, but I feel ready for the challenge. If I were to say what my New Year’s resolution is, I would say that I want to be more selfish. Sounds funny doesn’t it, but it’s true. I don’t always feel like the majority of my choices are all about what's best for me (I am a card carrying member of the People Pleaser Club), so I want to start making choices based on what’s best for me mentally and physically which I know will make me feel healthier inside and out each day!

What are your New Year’s resolutions?

Wins

I've had some wins lately that I'd like to share.

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Energy! I have a lot more. I'm finding that I get bursts of energy throughout the day that I haven't had in a long time. My schedule has been really hectic and having an energy boost from all of the clean food I am eating has been helpful to keep me from crumbling under the pressure. Yesterday for example I worked, went to an afternoon work function, had a surprise call back for a show, and had a holiday party to attend later that night. Holy moly, what a long day! BUT I felt more equipped with the stamina to do it!

I dined out for lunch! At my work function I was faced with my first time of being at a restaurant and attempting to eat animal product free. It was a nicer restaurant that didn't have a standard "big salad" to order, so I thought maybe I will have them tossed some salad greens together for me or order some side veggies cooked without butter. I was okay with that since I know choosing clean foods right now is really benefitting my health. When I mentioned that I was trying to go the vegan route and asked if could I have some sides of veggies, the waiter said it was no problem he would make something for me. The result: I was served the most succulent dish of squash, zucchini and other veggies in a delicious tomato ragu with a side of fresh green beans. It was a delight and I felt very satisfied and full. I can do this!

I feel deflated (in a good way): By reducing my processed food intake I feel less puffy, less salty, and lighter!

I'm also enjoying trying new whole grains. My current love is barley. It's terribly nutritious and I love how it's like super soft brown rice. So nutty and light and comforting! I like to top it with steamed kale (another current love.)

Saturday I made a recipe from The Kind Diet, a delicious Eggplant Chana Masala. It was really easy and made a ton of stew so I was able to eat it for a few meals over the weekend and freeze some in individual containers for lunches this week. My husband also liked it a lot!

Last week I exercised in some way everyday but Friday (I was out the door at 7:45am and didn't return until after midnight-fair enough I'd say). So I came near my week's goal. This week I want to make sure to get in two full hour work outs. I've got to get my workout lengths up to boost this gettin' lean mean machine!

Seventy Savories Sent from Secret Santa

Oh yes, I have already attended a holiday paty and was gifted by a Secret Santa! Friday at a little day job gathering I was overjoyed to be recipient of The Conscious Cook by Tal Ronnen. He is the mastermind who crafted the plant based dishes that were so delectable that Oprah was able to stick to a 21 day cleanse. I have just cracked the cookbook open this week, and I am so excited to try out some of the seventy exciting recipes.

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I typically hate following recipes. It makes me feel constricted and like my creativity is being taken away, hence why I am not a big baker (but clearly, I have control issues-haha). However I need to get better at succoming to following recipes since I am a novice to these new innovative plant based dishes. Sunday I made Alicia Silverstone's Kind Diet chocolate peanut cups and they are soo good and in my opinion far more divine than a highly processed Reese's Peanut Cup. Okay, I can do this. See, I can even have kind clean desserts. I just need to stick to some recipes at first and then I can learn the basic tools of this cooking method.

I went to Whole Foods early Saturday morning to get some things and felt overwhelmed. While I have my favorite veggie store, Stanley's, as my go-to Mecca of cheap organic produce, I need some cooking essentials if I am really going  to commit to more than my standard grain/bean/veg stirfry concoctions of late (although they are fab if I do say so myself). There are only certain kinds of fake meats I enjoy, and I am surrendering to the fact that fake cheese just isn't for me (I don't like most of it, so I'm not wasting calories eating it). I also had an unsucessful brush with tempeh so I need help understanding how to cook it-I can't just wing some of this stuff. What to eat, what to eat? I decided to treat myself to some animal product-free choices at the Whole Foods Salad Bar to give my pallet some variety and ideas. It was a delight!!!!!!! Much of it was tofu based, but so delicious! I currently have some curried tofu salad in my fridge that I want to copy-it's criminal how yummy it is.

This kind of cooking will just take me a little more time at first and I will also need to put some money into to get my essentials. I've already been using soy butter (Earth Balance soy butter is amazing-I doubt anyone could tell the difference), but I had to buy some things like mayo substitute and still need some other vinegars, sweeteners and various grains. Once I have all of the essentials then I think I will be in good shape. I also just need solid time at home to cook. Somehow even with my show up and running I have crammed my weeknights full of other things like auditions and seeing friends' plays and such. Health is an investment of mind, body, soul, time and money. That's a lot of committment, but I am truly enjoying most of the foods that I am trying and feel cleaner inside. I also feel good about being compassionate to my animals friends. I still find myself indulging in sushi so I am not a complete convert, and I may never stop, but overall I am feeling healthy!

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Do you wonder why I am not using the word vegan? Here's why: I think over the years the word has been negatively conotated. I know because I was one of the Negative Nellies. When I would hear about someone being a vegan I would think that they were super malnourished and crazy and actually sacrificing their health. I thought it was down right scary! However, I've been doing a lot of reading and I am committed to learning how to incorporate the lifestyle successfully. There is work involved in making sure you get what you need, but there are soo many benefits and so many delicious creations to try (if you like to cook and are open to trying new things). Now listen, I may never fully cross over, but moving closer to the animal product-free end of the dietary spectrum is comfortable to me. I wrestle with a self imposed black and white pressure to be all or nothing, but there is no human rulebook that says I have to have a title for my dietary habits. I like using an Alicia word and saying I eat kind foods. I also love that in the literature I have been reading there are no harsh judgements about meat eaters and vegetarians. In fact, all I am finding is encouragement to all who are expressing interest and praise for small steps like incorporating one veggie based meal a week into your diet. I like praise. I'm a Taurus after all :)

I have been visiting The Kind Life everyday for inspirartion.

Tastes of Fall

Saturday after rehearsal I had myself a solo soup date and made a few pots of various deliciousness to freeze in individual containers for healthy low cal lunches (Tip Alert). One concoction stood out from the rest and I knew I had to share. For the mere cost of 29 cents a pound I had purchased a little butternut squash at my favorite produce store. The result: Divinity.

Please make yourself a big ol’ bowl of this nutrient rich, pallet pleasing delight:

BB30's Simple and Slammin' Butternut Squash Soup

You’ll need:
1 small butternut squash
½ a medium yellow onion, finely chopped
2 cloves of garlic, finely chopped or grated
2-3 cups of vegetable broth
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter Spray, Soy Butter, or the like

Cinnamon

Nutmeg

Cut the Butternut squash in half and scoop out the seeds and membranes with a spoon.

Place the squash face down in ½ an inch of water and microwave for 10 minutes. When it’s done you should be able to easily scoop out the cooked squash.

Sautee the onion and garlic in a non-stick skillet with some butter spray (let the onion work a few a minutes before adding the garlic-burned garlic is just plain narsty.)

Add in the cooked squash and a hearty sprinkle of cinnamon and nutmeg (ginger is also good if you have it).

Add in the veggie broth. (Always good to start with just a cup and work your way up depending on the consistency you prefer.)

Give it a quick stir to combine.

Take out your trusty immersion blender and blend away until it’s creamy. (If you don’t have an immersion blender-1) WHY? THEY'RE AWESOME! 2) You could put it in a food processor or even a blender.)

FEAST.

Mind you this doesn’t make a ton since I used a small squash, but it’s easily adjusted with the size of you gourd.

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Reasons why you should eat this:

1) It tastes like autumn and will fill your soul!

2) It is ridiculously easy to make.

3) It is ridiculously yummy to eat.

4) It is low in calories.

4) Butternut Squash is oh-so-good for us.

Why Butternut Squash is oh-so-good for us:

According to wholeliving.com, butternut squash is full of antioxidents and fiber, rich in betacaratine and vitamin C, and it contains other nutrients that promote heart and bone health, and ward off arthritis and asthma. I'll have a bowl of that please! You'll also be eating with the season which I am told is a wonderful way to make sure your body gets what it needs.

Read It. Live It.

I am currently reading and enjoying Naturally Thin by Bethenny Frankel. I am in the early parts of the book, but I am already using her methods to manage eating. Bethenny claims that we all have a naturally thin person inside us, it's just been stunted by endless yo-yo dieting and obsessing over food. She has ten basic rules she follows that keep her naturally thin.

Thank you simonandschuster.com

She stresses enjoying what you really want to eat while keeping in mind that you cannot eat all of it. She also reiterates that while she gives examples of how she balances having gelato and pasta everyday in Italy and eats steaks and MuShu pork-she will never tell you exactly what to eat, because each us have our own favorites and we control what we eat. If ever there was a way to practice balance it's through her methods.

Have any of you read Naturally Thin?

Bitch of a Read

http://www.skinnybitch.net/

Last summer I read Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin. It is hilarious and I dig its humorous tough-love real approach to food. A book about healthy eating written by foodies struck my fancy-VEGAN foodies at that. (I am not a vegan, but was intrigued to read what they had to say!) Skinny Bitch provides very healthy alternatives to everyday indulgences, and because it is written with the passion of two food lovers, you can rest assured that their offerings are aimed at taste satisfaction (muy importante). I think what I found most appealing is their very frank approach. Here is a quote from their website, “You cannot keep shoveling the same crap into your mouth every day and expect to lose weight.” Honest and enthusiastic. Love it. I also love how their descriptions of food make you want, nay, NEED to try them. This is what they say about Turtle Mountain products, “Their soy ice cream has ruined our lives. Ruined.” Bwahahaha. This is how real people talk about food! It motivated me so much at the time and helped jump start shedding some pounds acquired from medicinal weight gain (perhaps a story for some other day).

I need to re-read this gem soon....and try some Turtle Mountain soy ice cream.