Exercise Revelation

Last week I returned to Bikram. With how crazy December was with my day job and obligations I had been away for several weeks. I actually felt panic and anxiety going back. It felt stressful. The last couple of times I had gone were really tough (and not in an invigorating way). This time was no different. It felt hotter than ever before, the smell was killing me and people's bad yoga etiquette was unnerving. Many times I don't feel motivated to suit up, pack up, get to the studio, do 90 minutes of yoga, rinse off, come home, and shower again. It's quite time consuming. However, I was coming out feeling proud of myself and accomplished and magnificent. This last time, I felt miserable. The monotony of doing the same 26 postures since August is really getting to me. The lovely owner of the studio has spoken before about finding a way to make each day of practice new and focusing on breathing, etc (she's been at this for years and practices most days each week), but I think I am just a person who needs variety. I have a month left of  my package and I hate to waste money (even with the killer deal I got), but honestly I am not sure I will make it in more than once a week. I think there is an underlying emotional issue with this (seems to always be the case with food and fitness does it not). I get down sometimes because there is no end to working on myself. Although I have come a long way from that 75lb kindergartner and almost 200lb high school junior, I will always have to keep myself in check. It's exhausting. Since having some time off this week I have had the chance to see some wonderful films (shout out to Crazyheart and The King's Speech) and I realized that I simply cannot throw in the towel and give up my dream of being an actor. It's what I am, it's who I am and I need to fight for it. This fight includes being more diligent about working out and moving forward with improving my physique. It's a neverending battle of accepting the situation and accepting myself. I think most of us go through this same battle. Doesn't make it any easier though. I have done a great job of maintenance, but I must move through the frustration and push on.

I have to add in variety back into exercise. I have a great deal for two months of workouts at a place near my day job that has Zumba (which I am so excited about), Kickboxing (yay) and more, but I kind of wanted to wait to use them once Bikram is over.

Does anyone have any favorite exercise DVDs I should get? I don't have OnDemand anymore and it was always my go-to for a little something different.